“Don’t Make Me Angry – You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry.”

Remember what Incredible Hulk says? “Don’t Make Me Angry – You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry.”

That show, as he starts feeling the anger, he becomes aware of it. Being aware of your anger is great quality. Once you are aware of your anger, there is a great opportunity to direct that anger in a better direction. The very first thing Hulk does is that he make others aware of his anger. Which is what one must immediately do. We usually don’t do this because we don’t like to expose our vulnerable side (weakness).

By Making others aware of our anger we also give others a chance to help us deal with the situation. The problem is, instead of expressing our anger feelings in words, we suppress it till the point of threshold. Finally there is outburst of Anger that usually flames everyone around you, starting with you. Ironically this kind of gives you fake feeling of strength. It’s the same way we perceive Hulk in his incredible form ripping off everything that comes in his way. But is he really powerful? For that moment people may be afraid of him and avoid him. But what about when flames go off? What about the long-term effects? He will only be surrounded by ashes and dust.

So why not just say “Don’t Make Me Angry – You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry.” This gives us and people around us an opportunity to make amends in time. In fact, why wait till we are driven till the anger point? Anger is fairly late in its journey. We should make sure that they express their opinion time to time when it’s appropriate. Not necessarily insist on our opinions but just make them heard. If not done this will mutate to become discomforts of our lives. If you have not taken care of our discomforts on time, it will start coming out of us in the form of dislikes and complains. If we have not taken responsibilities of our dislikes, then the monster will finally grow up to become anger. So if we can watch ourselves, we would realise, god does gives us enough opportunity to prevent our anger in time.

Meditation is a great tool to increase our awareness. And if you still cannot the at least say “Don’t Make Me Angry – You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry.”

Only cloud have silver lining

We have all heard of “Every cloud has a silver lining”. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Every suffering ends with a beautiful reward. Two years back I realised something very interesting. While it is true that “Every cloud has a silver lining” it is equally true that “Only clouds have silver lining”. Silver lining cannot exist without clouds.

Happiness is relative:
One cannot even see the silver lining (even if it is there) without going through clouds. This is because we perceive everything in relatively. Imagine a person born with the silver spoon who has always travelled in a luxury car and a middle class person just bought his car. Who would enjoy the ride most? The former will not even acknowledge his silver lining and the middle class guy will be on the top of the world.

Happiness is Self Esteem:
So when you want something and go from “don’t have” to “have”, you are happy. However this happiness will not have much significance unless you have gone through a challenge to bring about that change. The bigger the challenge the greater the happiness. Darker the clouds, shinier is the silver lining. Take the same example above, one middle class man receives the car from his in-laws as gift and other person earns it as a reward of his exceptional efforts. The later would perceive the shinier silver lining since he has passed through the clouds. The silver lining is not out there somewhere. It is within us. It’s our self-esteem. When we feel good about ourselves we are happy. With or without car.

Bring it on:
This is where it gets interesting. Then why we all put all our efforts to make our lives comfortable, when the happiness lies in challenges? When think of it, that’s what every successful person in the world has done. They have come out of their comfort zone and embraced the challenges in the world. They plan and look forward to bigger and better challenges and not just the rewards. For them the challenge itself is the reward and reward is just the by-product.

So bring it on. Bring on the greater challenges in your life, for greater happiness.

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